Auntie Kourt is Pregnant!
First comes love.
Then comes marriage.
Then comes baby in the baby carriage.
No one in this family has ever done it in this order. I’m speechless and dare I say, I’m impressed with her courage…her bravery.
Is this a new trend in the family?
Last week, Auntie Kourt announced that she and Travis are expecting a baby. My position remains, there are way too many people in this family. However, I am happy for my aunt. Finally, a kid that’s not a Disick. Maybe she’ll finally know peace.
I was the third person Auntie Kourt told about her pregnancy. I was flattered. Our relationship has been a work in progress over the years and I didn’t think we would ever recover from the Dolce & Gabbana thing, so it meant a lot that she entrusted me with such sensitive information.
Because I was feeling touched (which is a rare emotion for me to experience), I offered to help her with her announcement. She was thinking about doing a post on POISH to announce her pregnancy. I told her that was a great idea if she didn’t want anyone to know that she was pregnant.
This isn’t some vegan chickpea tuna salad recipe, this is her baby! Someone might actually be interested in this.
Of course, I pitched a storyline for the show, but Auntie Kourt was not having it. I had to break the news to Kris. I waited until she had about two martinis and a vodka soda. I found that giving Kris bad news is better after she’s had a certain amount of vodka. She just cries a little and then goes to sleep in her pantsuit.
I declared that secret pregnancies are so 2017. We’re not doing that anymore. Secret pregnancies were for co-parenting. W'e’ve moved on.
With that in mind, my team and I started to brainstorm our plan of action. I wanted something super public. Something even more public than the basic Instagram post with way too much text. I also wanted a fresh take on a pregnancy announcement, that still kept PR at the forefront.
After days of deliberation, my team and I finally landed on the perfect plan. We told Auntie Kourt to announce her baby news at a Blink-182 concert. It’s a huge crowd and it will instantly go viral. We have full control of the narrative, but also, the fans do the leg work for us.
This type of publicity has never been done before in this family, so I attended the concert to make sure everything ran perfectly. It was an honor to be there and it looked really great for my brand. There were a lot of great images of me at the concert used in the press.
Auntie Kourt is having a boy, which feels very anticlimactic. We did this huge announcement and a gender reveal party just to find out she’s having a boy. RIP to my personal branding strategies for Calabasas Mary Jo Barker.
Maybe her son can sell socks?
On the upside, the baby won’t be a Disick so maybe he won’t bite me or vandalize my property. Dare to dream.
And if you’re wondering, yes. I had the Malikas send Scott a fruit basket.