January Put Me Through It
Well, one month down 11 more to go, dolls. January felt so long and excruciating for various reasons. Between re-launching our cosmetics line and someone’s baby daddy embarrassing the family (again), my plate was full. Here is everything I endured this month.
Tristan Suspended for 25 Games After Violating NBA’s Drug Policy
He’s not bright, but his tolerance for public humiliation is impressive. Bring back shame! Even Scott had a breaking point.
Tristan was caught doping. You would think a person who cheats so much would be better at it. Tristan was only averaging 3.8 points this season. The cheating wasn’t even working!!!
Kris called me when the news broke about Tristan’s suspension. Do you know this woman was bold enough to ask me what could we do to repair his image? I laughed because surely she was joking. Honey, the image has BEEN broken. Wake up!
Besides, what else can we do?
We forgave him 58798687676500 times, Auntie Khloe moved him into her house, we put him on our show and pretended he was a good father, Kris got him a job at ESPN that he was absolutely not qualified for, and by some miracle, he played (Listen to me, “played”. Strong word, I know) for the Lakers last season. I even put my reputation on the line for him by sitting courtside at his game…with a sign! WITH A SIGN!!! My brand will never recover from this.
I’m done!
I wish him and his children, the ones we do and don’t know about, all the luck in the world.
I’ve instructed the Malikas to send Tristan a reminder that I will not be lending him money for his child support payments. He can work through Jenner Communications for any financial needs he may have.
Kravis Returned to the Red Carpet
Lemme Barf.
Rocky Thirteen’s (Yes, that’s his real name) parents returned to the red carpet for the Emmys. It was Auntie Kourt’s first appearance since giving birth to Reign’s replacement.
Auntie and Travis looked stunning in their signature “prince and princess of darkness” looks. Glad to see they still found time to tongue each other down on the red carpet despite having a newborn at home.
I haven’t met Rocky yet, but Penelope said I’m not missing anything. I believe it. I wasn’t impressed with Mason and I’m terrified of Reign. I’m in no rush to meet this baby.